Offender Bumper

Notice the tougher-than-iron bumper plate that is squashed flat. Notice the many other finely framed features fractured ferociously. Did I mention that Jan was doing only a few miles an hour and that there was no damage whatsoever to the Ford Expedition? So, Jan asked me to turn on the hose so we could do some watering. Did I know she was going to go over and pick up the other end? So, why was she so excited when I turned on the faucet and showered her? She took it very calmly and forgiveness was forthcoming. Then, when I was cleaning up the weight machine (which I finally got someone to take off my hands) I was suddenly drenched with the hose from behind. Payback is a son-of-a-gun. Wait, I had stuff to enter!!! Anyway it was good to speak with most of you this weekend and to learn you are all doing fairly well. Jason was the only one who didn't check in so we can only suppose they are doing well. Jenna & Blake are carrying along nicely and counting down the days until they get here. Okay, it's me counting down the days til they get here, so it's 12!! Woo Hoo! However, not to be outdone, Brett & Tara, and hopefully Jason & Sara are coming up this weekend to watch all the festivities Rexburg has to offer. Okay, just the rodeo, but that's cool, right? I felt very bad about my car getting injured. I didn't get a citation because the other vehicle was FINE!! Geez, this is also my 3rd accident in a year so I'm wondering if I should even claim it. We have gotten 1 bid on it though and that was $2700, sob sob. We'll see. The weather has turned very hot, okay just 90 but that is so hot for here. We haven't had any rain for a couple of weeks so the spring storms are now gone and everything that isn't watered will start dying. Well that is about all, Cash sends his love, especially to Ashleigh whose birthday it is today - Happy Birthday! We love you Ash! Brett & Tara got back from Cali last Monday and they had a great time but there were record breaking highs in LA too, so they were glad for AC. By the way, Brett has ripped out all the flooring in his condo and replaced it with wood laminate and it looks great! Everyone go see! The house is coming along very well, carpet was laid last week and dad & I are going to put peel and stick linoleum in the kitchen, laundry room and bathroom tomorrow. Isn't he so nice to help me? He's such a good, good daddy. Well okay have a great week, keep in touch, we love you all! Love, Ma

Skinny Cows

Hello one and all! Greetings from the new members of the family. They are still Skinny Cows, kind of like the ones Anna eats, but hopefully they will soon be fat, laughing cows. the top one is Holy Cow and the bottom one is Cowabunga. Pretty clever, hmmm? We are all fine and dandy, finally we had summer this past week. Temps were in the 80's and one day it was even 89! Everyone was complaining about the heat, and this from people who saw it snow on June 10th. But it is beautiful, the weeds along the highways haven't died yet and everything is still so green. Our garden has finally sprouted but we think birds got most of the corn because it's not coming up. Dang birds!

We are making good progress with the house. It's all painted, inside and out, the carpet layers are coming tomorrow and I finished painting the shower upstairs. Everything is coming together nicely. We have had a ton of calls on the property but I think $199,900 is too much to ask. A property just down the street that has been renovated also but isn't quite as charming as ours, is going for $166,900, so we'll have to see. Had a big texting nightmare with my partner on Thursday about various issues. I was so angry I couldn't speak to him so we were both texing as fast as we could. I apologized for my rudeness but not for anything else so I hope we'll be able to come together and finish this. I have learned so much and want to do it on my own now, possibly with Lane Kinghorn helping me out. We'll see.

We are looking forward to Blake and Jenna coming in July. They will be arriving on July 10-11 and going home on August 1st, so we can't wait. We bought the cutest little fountain yesterday at Broulims. It is 3 tiered and fits in a corner and makes the most lovely sound. Holland and Granty will love it. We're so glad they are coming instead of staying home with their deadbeat car. Jeff & Ashleigh are both working at TNT this summer, I don't know how much Ashleigh is working but Jeff put in 80 hours last week. Hooray for them! Bring up great fireworks for July 24th Jeff!

Brett & Tara left for California on Thursday. They flew down and are staying for a week, I guess. I heard the temperatures there were in the 100's so hope they are keeping cool! Brandon & Anna say the weather is still rainy and they have been helping out the flood victims close by. Crops have been ruined in 3 states, so if you are looking for another reason to get your food storage, this is it. Things are looking grim to me so get whatever food and water you can store before the prices skyrocket.

Jason & Sara went to visit with her sister in Ogden on Thursday. Sara wanted to get out of the house and Jason needed to meet with a few people to help him in his business. They got home about an hour ago. Grandpa K came out for supper tonight. He fell on Friday, luckily I was in Rexburg working at the house, so I sped over and he had fallen behind the tractor mower so no one could see him and cracked his ribs on the front planter box. I had to have someone help me get him up, so he's really taking it easy. At least he'd better be.

I love all the blogs and pictures and video clips, it just helps me to keep up with the growth of the kids and the activities of you guys. It is wonderful to see your pictures every week. I've been thinking about making a calendar for next year and would like all of you to submit at least 4-5 pictures and we'll choose what gets in the calendar and then give them back to you. It will have all the birthdays and anniversaries on it which will make it a little better to keep track of special days, when we need to call, to keep in touch, to communicado better, like Brett! So please look through pictures that you've taken. I'll use two pics from each of your, one of your family and one of the grandkids and/or pets, and/or just a good pic from each of you, hopefully by September, so keep it in mind.

Well, we luv ya sa much and think you're great. We are great too and love to hear from you. Don't worry, be happy! Love, Ma & Pa Shirley

The Past and the Curious

This had to be archived before I lost it. Attached is actual language from a letter I got while I was in the MTC. I came across it while I was rummaging around in the nest of crap I can't get rid of because I'm positive it will have value some day. Mostly, I thought I would post it to counter Jeff's rise in family (Blake) attacks. I can't do much with photoshop, so I'll let the language do the mocking. "We picked up Jeff yesterday (from Oklahoma)-he's weird. He doesn't like drinking Pepsi or watching television, or listening to the radio, he wanted us to have a spiritual thought during supper." Here's another, what makes it creepy is that I can't really remember the context in which it was sent. "Brandon, Often I dream of us together, grasping each other tightly, I look into your eyes-and I wish it would never end. The wind blows through your hair, my heart, then begins to race - your endless beauty is majestic; I'm in heaven when I'm in your arms."

Blake's Extra Job

So Jenna and I were discussing ways to pay for the escalating price of gas, and she mentioned Blake has been performing on street corners for some extra cash. I was a little skeptical at first, until she sent me these pictures. I was amazed when I saw them; for I never knew Blake had it in him. I wish I had Guitar Hero to unlock my hidden potential.

Fowl Play?

When I stopped in to check on Robin and the boys I found the premises empty. There was no hide nor hair nor feathers anywhere. The nursery was undisturbed and there was no sign of a struggle. I don't know if Robyn moved them or if some other sinister force was involved. Three magpies were interviewed individually, but each one remained consistent as to their innocence. The case has been referred to the forensic department of CSI. In the meantime, friends and family are encouraged to keep an eagle-eye open for Robyn Byrd and her missing quads. Grandchildren are welcome to submit possible scenarios as to what exactly occurred in this case of the missing aviary. Forensics showed no visible signs of force in the bedroom and no DNA, blood spatter, or egg shell remnants on the floor. Did she move them? Could she move them? Was it a cat, a or was there fowl play? You decide.

Batty-Man Rescues Robyn

I went into the garage after I got home today and I heard a flapping sound behind the extra sheetrock stacked up against the garage window. I looked down and saw Robyn trapped. She kept trying to fly out but couldn't make it.

A bird in the hand is better than doo-doo in the bushes. Up to this point Robyn had been much too shy to pose for a family photo, but with a little coaching from me (and my leather gloves) she oblidged. After a pleasant visit and a much needed rest she decided to be on her way.

I noticed her a few minutes later hatching a new strategy for the fledgling family future.

All four featherless friends had made the break and were getting accoustomed to mortal life. Can you pick out the oldest?

It's a BOYd

We are pleased to announce that Robyn gave birth to two of her four prospective fledglings on Sunday morning, June 8. The first, as we already know, was named Eenie, followed there after by Meanie. Miney and Moses are still debating as to exactly when they will crack the case and solve the problem of being born. I heard tiny voices whispering something about "breaking outa dis joint." I expect Moses will be the last to make the "exodus" (pun intended).

The Toe, Part 2

Now that you've vommitted your breakfast, lunch, and dinner, here's another video for your viewing pleasure! Enjoy!

So long, Mr. Toenail

I don't know what was more disturbing, the fact that I was filming my toenail getting removed, or that fact that NO ONE has called to see how my recovery is going. Thanks a lot. And in case you were wondering, which I know you're not, it has healed just fine. People have asked me, "How could you stomach filming that?" My answer is simple. I've been under the knife so many times, I'm unaffected by things like this, it's almost to the point where it's amusing. So enjoy! The kids at my school were definitely entertained by it...

(by the way, I made it black and white to enhance your fear and queasiness, almost like those old 'Twilight Zone' shows, all I need is the music in the background...)

Ink-Cue-Baiting

I had left the door open to the shed, so one of our fine-feathered friends (we'll call her Robin) moved in and homesteaded the place. I will keep you posted as the process continues. Sunday, May 25. This is Adam, the firstborn. He found himself rather lonely, so he talked his mother into expanding the family. Friday, May 30. New arrivals complete the family. Adam's name is now changed to "Eenie." Can you guess his siblings' names? That's right: Eenie, Meanie, Miney and Moses. Robin said Moses was the most comfortable because he was named after a famous man who also spent part of his childhood in a similar basket.

Sunday, June 8, 2008. Jailbreak. We're outa here.

Fearsome Foursome free at last. Monday, June 9, 2008. Any predictions on when they will file their flight plans? There is a prize for whoever is closest to the actual date.

Flower Power

The yard has suddenly exploded into a sudden burst of color as Jan has been out doing her usual spring-thing of planting flowers everywhere. Dead leaves have been hauled away, twigs from the tree in the back gathered up, and "sunshine" spread everywhere. How can things help but grow? The spring has been unusually cool and we have enjoyed it. We have had precious few days when we did not wear a jacket. Water has been running in the canal and the pump has been put back into service. The grass has turned a dark green. The tree in the front yard has been particularly beautiful this year. We have not had a lot of wind to beat the blossoms away, so we have been blessed with an abundance of color. Even the little apple tree in the garden is loaded with white blossoms. We should be able to have our typical explosion of apples to dry for the winter. With all the rain we have had it is nice to not hear people say, "But the ground is so dryyyy" (say it with a raspy-sort-of-choaking whisper to get the real effect).

How's the eye, Blake?

"He's Blake-eye the Sailor Man. He's Blake-eye the Sailor Man. He's strong to the 'finich' cause he eats his spinach, he's Blake-eye the Sailor Man. (toot toot!)"