Reality TV Doesn't Care About Me

Turn on the TV and tell me what you see. But, wait until after you read this because I have stuff to say, so instead, I'll tell you what you would see if you turned the TV on. There are 4 types of shows:

1. The Drama. Mediocre acting with intricate story lines usually ending in some kind of a twist.

2. Mini Series. Mediocre acting with intricate story line usually ending the season on some kind of a twist.

3. Sitcom. Horrible acting with no story line, and with actors that talk in jokes instead of lines

4. Reality TV or "The Reinvention of the Circus." Freak shows put on display for all America to gawk at.

My beef is with number 4. It seems like the basic channels want sob stories of peoples suffering and the music channels exploit the weirdos. But, how come a camera crew wasn't sent to my apartment to document me getting my wisdom teeth removed? Because, from what I'm told, it would have been a GREAT episode! I think I'm pretty enough to make it on VH1, except I don't have chemical dependencies and have been taught self control. I was in pain, so that qualifies me to be on ABC or NBC, except it's not permanent suffering, so I'm disqualified for a new house. With as much energy as I have put into supporting television, I'm starting to think TV doesn't care about me at all. Looks like I need to find a new past-time.

Ann Uhpawluhjee

Hay evreebuddy! Eye thawt et wuz tym tu rite uh poast ugin sins eye havunt fer uh lawng tym. End eye muhst uhpawlujize fer mye reesint kritucull cawmints reegawrdeeng peepulls spehleeng airs end upproapreeut werd yewsuj. Eye em nawt trieeng tu bee meen ore mayk fuhn, eye jist theenk ets fuhnee sumtyms, en eye noe thaht mie eenglisch skihlz awr nawt purfekt. Buht eye noe thet ef eye disch et owt, eye haf tu bee aybl tu tayk et wen eye maikt uh phyew meestayks mieself. Wenehfur eye poast sumtheeng, eye czech en dubbel czech mie spehleeng tu mayk shur ets awl korekt, en eye em prittie shur theyr awr noe meestayks en thees poast. Enywayz, eckspekt a phew gnu poasts frum mee en thuh knot zo dihstunt fewchur.

Man life is hard........

Well I was just looking around and thinking man life sure is tough being a missionary. I was cathing myself with these thoughts as I walked past the Lamborghini factory, then as I was on top of the largest tower in italy that was buit over a thousand years ago. Oh! I don't know how I do it.

It is tough being here but, I am really starting to get used to things. Thanks for all your help guys. I miss you all and we will be seeing each other soon. In the real life...

Area Man Obliderates Baby Food Record

Jeff Shirley, Orem, ate the entire three day supply of baby food that was packed for his nephew Grant's weekend in Idaho. Grant's previous record of fifteen minutes per feeding, was easily surpassed by Jeff's impressive record of one minute and thirty seconds. Grant's diet consisted of a full can of flavored puffed rice, several containers of whole milk yogurt, bananas and apples and pears, sweet potatoes, and squash. "I was in the zone" said Jeff Shirley, who despite adult build, saw no problem consuming his nephew's food. "I couldn't find any decent food in the house. I yelled at my mom and got no response. I saw Brandon eating one of those 'pizza thingies' but his response implied my getting up and preparing it for myself." Wiping the remaining pieces of rice cereal from his chin Shirley replied,"I had to eat something. When I saw all of Grant's food I lost myself in the moment and attacked." Family onlookers were perplexed. Blake Scoresby, his brother-in-law, replied in disgust,"I generally have no preference when it comes to taste, but even I wouldn't touch that stuff. Plus, Grant has nothing to eat for the rest of the weekend." Still Shirley looks forward to Grant's next visit. "I can't wait for Grant's next visit. The next time he visits he'll come equipped with more solid foods. These liquefied foods just go down to quickly and don't provide the challenge I'm looking for." Still, Shirley proudly tacks this record on his wall of fame, right next to his first place Boy Scout Boat Regatta medal he won when he was sixteen.

Jumpin' Jehosaphat

Mom interrupted my Sunday nap to make Dad and I put up the trampoline. EVERYTHING HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW!!!

I guess I'll post pictures of Anna

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