Tornado destroys Indiana

While attending a Peyton Manning autograph show recently, a few local residents got more than they expected. Instead of heeding tornado warnings and fleeing like most sane Avon residents, local nuts Brandon and Anna Shirley, along with their innocent son, Grant, decided to become storm chasers and see how close they could get to the edge of disaster. Remarkably, no one was hurt, although a few cows perished after being hurled miles from their pastures. Manning joined them in their storm chasing and also escaped harm, and to the delight of Colts' fans everywhere, will still start this coming Sunday. "It was quite an amazing ride," added Manning, who also stated, "it was quite a rush. It felt better than winning the Super Bowl." Bradon Shirley, local idiot who is a law student at IU, said, "My brother Jeff warned me about being close to such a storm, but no one ever listens to what he says anyway." The tornado destroyed most of Avon, Indiana, leaving many residents left to ponder what is left of their homes and belongings. Here's some advice to all members of the Shirley family : listen to your brother next time. By the Way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA!