In a not so stunning move, Mom has decided to forego buying any presents for everyone in the family except Cash. Dad overheard her conversation with Jenna the other day (who she calls every day) saying, "He's the only one that deserves anything. His undying devotion and dedication to this family is unmatched." She also noted, "He's certainly done more for this family than Jeff, but that's not a surprise to anyone." While this announcement is no surprise to anyone in the family, it is disappointing that Christmas morning and the Shirley house will be spent opening presents full of doggy treats, custom dog massagers, an diamond studded collar, can after can of gourmet dog food, a new recliner for Cash to sleep in, and a jetted doggy sized hot tub. When he heard of this news, Cash declined comment as he ran out the door to look for some cow manuer to munch on.
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